Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Lock 'er up! and other life adventures

Hey folks! It's been a while since I've been able to vent my feelings towards the world so prepare yourselves.

1. "Snowpocalypse." ...really, DC? It's a couple feet of snow. The whole New England region and northern half of the country has been dealing with this kind of "emergency" for....ever. Buy yourselves a couple of plows and some government officials with balls to go out with a coat on and get on with it. Seeing as no changes were made to any academic schedule, this little stunt you pulled cost those paying for college a good chunk of change. Those are the most expensive movies and pizza pies I've ever seen. And yes, my father is still waiting for his refund check.

2. It's Big/Little Week here on the metaphoric Greek Row of AU... well at least the AEPhi house, and ... wow. This whole getting showered in gifts thing is emotionally exhausting. From the suspense to the excitement to the cleaning, I'm starting to be glad Christmas only comes once a year. Each girl in the sorority gets a "Big Sister" --a mentor/mom type. For the first week, the "Big" 's identity is a secret, and they sneak into their "little"s room to decorate, leaving clues... which are usually false and meant to lead the little away from the right track and therefore are to be disregarded.

It's hard to understand if you aren't a part of it, but from the side of the Little, it is somewhat like an 8th grade relationship. You have this bond with someone, but you don't really know who they are, yet you tell them you love them anyway. And to think I thought that ended with Connor Finnegan!

3. Why do women feel the need to walk around locker rooms shirtless? Men, I could see. I wouldn't mind being a fly on that wall, but really, ladies? I don't want your post-menopausal mammary glands defeating my serotonin high. Keep them in your pokeballs, jiggly puff.

Now Jill, I'm sorry running isn't your thing, and just like you, I prefer swimming too. And yes, I'm impressed of your friend planning to run a half marathon too! But strangely enough, the changes in your dietary habits as you turn the page from your 40's to your 50's don't interest me so much while I'm taking a shower. I'm just trying to get the chlorine out of there and go to class. Thank you, I suppose, for making this so much of a quicker process.

That covers the main bases for the past 3 months... oh, except for one small detail, although perhaps the most important. In the time I have been gone, I have become (not so) newly single... so make your move. *Self-googlers need not apply.


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