Meet the Parents

My family is in town. I called my mother at 12:30 to see what time she thought they would arrive, she said 3:00. I was surprised at the good time they were making. Car rides with the Lorias are always of epic proportions; whether it is leaving at midnight avoid traffic en route to North Carolina, or my dad choking on a peach pit while driving and somehow blaming it on my mother, or having a rug fall off our roof and roll across 495, road trips with the fam are nothing less than entertaining.

good looking group, eh?

for reference; pat: mother. kevin: baby boy. dennis: father. amy: biggest sis. ker: middle sis. also known as ker, kiwi, weewee, middlepath. and me! awkward third one. lost in the ways of the world. independent, but not by choice. but thats for another time.

My mother calls me back at 2:45. They're here! I can't believe they got here without any problems. Oh--spoke too soon. The car broke down. The trusty T&C made it the 480 miles with no problems, and decided to call it quits within walking distance of my school. They are now waiting for a tow truck to take the car to the dealership and get a rental car. Of course. I smiled, thankful that not too much had changed since I've left. This got me thinking of other adventures we've been through that have given the Griswald's their well deserved nickname...

1. The Italian Job: April, 2006. The Loria family takes Europe (clearly foreshadowing to Kelly taking DC)! As we're doing the usual touristy things, we decide to take a tour of the Sistine Chapel. Instead of standing in the long line of people waiting to buy tickets from the establishment, Den decides to "be like a local" and hire a guy on the street to take us through. He says its a great deal; for a low price, we get a personalized tour and headsets to listen to the official guided tour. What a steal! Okay even the kids could see through this like it was doused in Windex. Despite our testaments that we were being cheated, Daddio decided to go through with it. Guess who was right? After paying a large man on a street corner who then mysteriously disappeared, we are taken inside yet all the perks of this tour are no where to be found. After many complaints, the tour leader, or the Scam Man as he was deemed by 10-year old Kevin, starts walkie-talkie-ing his honchos, saying how we were starting a revolution and he couldn't control us. Unexpected twist! Amy understands the entire conversation. Guess that gig is up. How do you say coup d'etat in Italian?

2. Sayanara Sanjaya: April 2007. Being the avid American Idol fans that we are, not even a trip to California was not going to cause us to miss an episode. So Wednesday night comes around and the clan is gathered in a hotel room, waiting anxiously to see who will be voted off. You remember the season--Sanjaya Malakar confused the singing competition with a season of What Not to Wear...on your head.

Well tonight was his night to go. We had been waiting for this moment for months. As soon as Ryan Seacrest announced it was the end of Simba's journey, it was like October 27th, 2004 in Boston. And yes. You should know that date. There was jubilant screaming, kicking, flailing, hugging, probably a few tears shed. And not only because my glasses were broken in the process.

I really wish I was kidding.

3. Far from Home: July 2006? Kelly, Kerry, Pat coming home from Mississippi. Flight cancelled in New York. Drive home with strangers we just met? No rental cars. Stay the night? No hotel rooms. Get picked up by Den? Phones die. Thank goodness for air mattress--sleep in airport! 1 am... vacuums. 3 am... Fire alarms. 6 am bus. 10 am commuter rail. noon, home sweet home. Who said Planes, Trains and Automobiles were just for John Candy and Steve Martin?

Honorable Mentions: That time we went to Florida... by way of California. economical!

That time we lost our dog the day we got her, only to find her asleep under the deck.

That time Pat called the neighbors in the middle of the night to protect the house from robbers...turns out the noise was just the gerbils.

That time Kevvy spilled the whole tank of sea monkeys all over the kitchen (yeah...we're not really good with pets).

I know, I know you want in. Most people do.